BY CLARE MEGAHEY This week across Australia, the floristry business is in full bloom, romantic partners are frantically shopping for presents, and children are going to great efforts with thoughtful, hand-crafted gifts. In case you have forgotten, Mother’s Day is on Sunday, and the pressure is on for families to plan the perfect day for the most important women in their lives. But is the day just reserved for those who have birthed or raised children, or can we also celebrate other kinds of mothers, alongside less traditional notions of motherhood? While conventionally we understand mother in the definitional sense to mean the woman who gave birth to you, society on the whole has progressed beyond this nuclear familial dynamic alone to valuing a mother as someone who brings you up and raises you. In some cultures, it is common for extended families or even whole communities to bring up children together, within a wide support network. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Mothers remain the most important figures in this process as the bearers of life, an understanding that is universal. Mother’s Day has been celebrated all over the globe for thousands of years, even before it was widely commercialised. The world and those within it may be rich with diversity, but humanity shares these key ideas on what it means to be a mother and feels very strongly about how significant they are. You may not have birthed or raised a child, or mothered in the traditional sense, but motherhood means more than rearing or caring for someone. Motherhood is nurturing, cultivating, and passionately providing. In the twenty-first century, forms of motherhood are seemingly endless. Plenty of people mother pets or plants, or even non-inanimate objects too. Once associated with lonely, elderly women with too many felines, women are now subverting the previously insulting crazy cat lady stereotype and adopting it with endearment to express their love for the animals. Plant-obsessed millennials proudly share snaps online of the cacti and succulents they have successfully kept alive. Booklovers make DIY cloth slips to protect the books they carry around and dust their shelves to keep their collections clean. There are countless examples of mothering things that aren’t children. Whilst those who carry and care for children deserve the utmost respect, the notion of mothering is not something reserved to describe the parents and carers of offspring. Being a mother or enacting maternal practices means so much more than fulfilling a role; it comes with inevitable responsibility and unconditional love. Mothering isn’t the incessant nagging or constant embarrassment with which it is so often associated. It is the strength in how much you care, and how you show it. Motherhood can be seen in the everyday, in those who love something so deeply that they will do everything in their power to ensure its wellbeing. Everyone is driven by maternal instincts, to some degree. The more we indulge them, the richer our lives become. On Mother’s Day, make sure you spoil your mum and show her how much you love her. At the same time, however, take the opportunity to acknowledge the ways you mother in your life. Perhaps you procrasti-bake for your housemates when the deadlines get too stressful or spend too much of your paycheck on cute outfits for your furry friend who has no concept of money. Be inspired by the spirit of the day because you might find you could improve on them! Maybe your ferns could use a little more love, or fertiliser. Celebrate Mother’s Day with your family, but also with yourself. Pat yourself on the back or treat yourself to a cheeky champagne because your pets and plants are still alive. Non-traditional mothers and mothering deserve recognition too!
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**Public service announcement** Telling someone they need a routine is about as helpful as telling someone they really need to not have 6 cups of coffee a day. Yes, justification is not unclear, but it is also not particularly helpful. In times like this, there is no absence of advice, but a lot of the advice clearly lacks substance. Before diving into the steps for establishing a routine, I need to clarify that establishing a routine needs to be decoupled from forced productivity and the cult of self-improvement. Routine can exist with a sole purpose of creating time for rituals. And rituals, well, they are a way of re-establishing the harmony that was shattered with the advent of COVID-19. Routines are not a way of launching yourself into forced labour but just a way of creating time to do the things that give you a little bit of joy. The issue with the productivity pressures that stem from unsophisticated self-improvement advice is that they presume that given you are working from home, productivity will increase. It is this false narrative that equates productivity to efficiency and then suggests defining efficiency as an output per hour metric. In this false narrative, it assumes that just because we have more time, we will necessarily be more productive. The issue is that it completely overlooks that emotional pressures and new burdens (such as taking on new roles) that self-isolation brings. Yes, Shakespeare may have written King Lear while under quarantine, but Shakespeare wasn’t concerned about the next time he was going to see his family. Indeed, Ahmad wrote an excellent piece about the need to ignore “all that coronavirus related productivity pressure.” She provides a phased approach to mental readjustment to these conditions of hardship. The first two stages are security and the mental shift and that create a strong foundation to then build a weekly schedule. Creating routine is necessary, but I would advise that progressing through these first two stages is necessary to create a foundation for a valuable and sustainable schedule. Establishing a routine is only possible when you are no longer in a period of denial and delusion and entered the period of acceptance. Only once you have made the emotional transition, implemented the support systems are you able to start to think about where to allocate your time. So let’s get scheduling… 1. What are your priorities? Are you on a mission to find the best banana bread recipe, are you working two days a week, or studying full-time or reading all your books on your bookshelf? While all are equally worthy of your time, you might like to think about what days, what needs to be prioritised and allocated time. For example, on Mondays I work, Tuesdays I re-read the Twilight saga, Wednesdays I learn to cross-stitch and so on and so forth. If you would like some value-add, potentially allocate different priorities to different days (e.g. Monday = work; Tuesday = drawing and Sundays = Admin etc…). Then you can allocate tasks to the days with that theme. A list could look something like this: Sunday you could reserve for admin or Sunday you could reserve for face masks and Will & Grace. It doesn’t matter. 2. Let’s think about adding in some daily rituals. What are the small rituals that bring light into your life? Coffee in the morning, journaling, meditation, some light exercise, lighting a candle, a face mask. An important caveat to note is that contrary to the narrative perpetuated by the cult of self-improvement, rituals does not need to be done in the pursuit of something else. Some things that I try to incorporate each day include reading, turning on my diffuser and my daily affirmations (albeit done to the tune of Taylor Swift’s Fearless). These are not helping me with career progression or helping my WAM, but they are the small pleasures that we all need to hold on to right now. Some other things to consider allocating some time to incorporate into your days, include:
3. Let’s add it to a calendar. I am pleased to report that the most productive thing I have in self-isolation, is draw a weekly schedule and colour code it. I am also equally happy to report that I have no shame that this is the epitome of my productiveness. EmmaStudies has created a weekly schedule template and this is a good place to start. To create the schedule I did the following: A) What are my commitments? Return to step one. Looking at your list, allocate a day and the amount of time that each activity deserves. Work on one day, uni on another, binge watching Tiger King on the other. Add them in. B) What are my routines? What are my rituals? Return to step numero deux. Think about your daily rituals and start to incorporate them into your morning and night routines. Ideally your morning and night routines should reflect these bizarre circumstances and recognise changes in circumstance. For example, in the mornings I like to journal (15mins), meditate (15mins) , do some reading (30mins), get a bit of exercise (30mins). It takes me about two hours to get through everything that I enjoy so I have allocated two hours in the morning. In the evening, I have allotted one hour to switch off and unwind in the evening. Other routines I try to add are a weekly family chat, Sunday self-care, and an admin day. I also have times with nothing to do so I can I am not perfect. Sometimes I roll out of bed and work in bed all day. It’s obviously not ideal, but I recognise that it’s just me adapting to uncertainty. C) What else? When creating a schedule practice the compassion that you would for another person with yourself. Make time for freedom and recognise that sometimes it is okay to do nothing. In sum, a schedule is not important because of what it is but because of what it represents. A schedule is a way of overcoming the denial and delusion that characterised the first few weeks of the coronavirus crack-down. It is the most visible and applaudable acknowledgement of an attempt to transition your life to the new normal. BY FRANCES MAGIERA As Australia moves to self-isolation measures due to the coronavirus epidemic, we’re in the midst of a strange new reality. Going outside is now only permitted for essential errands like groceries, exercise or work, and gathering in groups of more than two is a fineable offence. Which means for most of us, staying indoors all day, every day is the new norm. But if you’re not an introvert or homebody, you might be struggling to pass the time outside of Zoom meetings and walking to the fridge for yet another snack. Here are some indoor activities to pass the next time you find yourself sick of binge-watching Netflix. (And if you get through this list and all else fails, you can always start making TikToks). Make Art & Get Crafty Awaken your inner Picasso by creating art, whether that’s in the form of painting, sketching, or drawing. This is a fun, creative and inexpensive way to stay busy indoors -- it can be as simple as scribbling away with a pen. Activities like colouring in have also been proven to reduce stress and increase mindfulness. Craft is another creative way to keep you occupied whilst also creating something beautiful (hopefully!). This could be papercrafts like scrapbooking or origami, textiles such as sewing, knitting, crocheting or embroidery, or even pottery! You are limited only by your imagination. So go on, get some snacks, chuck on a Bob Ross tutorial and host your very own paint and sip! Work on a Side Hustle There has never been a better time to work your on a side hustle, or work your way through your long-term to do list. Now is your chance to finally do all those things you’ve been ‘too busy’ for. Start working on that podcast, blog, Youtube channel, novel, or e-commerce company that you’ve been wanting to do but have placed on the backburner! If you don’t have something of your own or don’t know where to start, you can always upskill yourself through online tutorials and webinars. Puzzles & Games If you’ve got any board games laying around the house, now is the time to dust them off and have a round of Scrabble, Monopoly, chess or Uno. Ditto for jigsaw puzzles, which as Scomo has said, are essential items. The man has a point — you may have relegated these games to the attic since adulthood, but once you’ve spent an afternoon passing Go and collecting $200, you’ll see why they’re timeless for a reason! Brain training puzzles like Sudoku and crosswords are also great for keeping your mind busy. Reading This may be an obvious one, but now is the perfect time to cosy up with a book. You might have a reading list to get through (and if you don’t, there’s plenty of recommended reading, new releases and best seller lists online), or you can start by picking up that book you never quite finished. Audiobooks are also fantastic for listening to if you don’t want to commit to sitting down with a book. You can find free audiobooks here. Reading doesn’t have to be limited to just books either — further your knowledge by researching and reading into that thing you’ve always been curious about. If there’s ever been a time to fall down an Internet rabbit hole about conspiracy theories, astrology or true crime — it’s now. Cooking Not just a tasty way to pass the time (the best part about cooking is eating, duh), cooking is also a skill for life that can mean the difference between living off two-minute noodles and being able to whip up a full-on feast. Buzzfeed’s Tasty has great video recipes if you’re a visual learner, and you can also find tonnes of easy-to-follow recipes right here on ENID. You don’t have to focus on learning complicated recipes either — you could bake, make a staple item you’ve previously only bought ready-made before (such as bread or mayonnaise) or learn a kitchen skill like how to poach eggs. Self Care Last but not least, it’s also a good time to be taking care of yourself. During this uncertain period, it can be easy to become overwhelmed and anxious, and not being able to get out of the house and see friends can lead to loneliness, depression and a sense of despair. It’s crucial to take time for yourself to do the things that make you feel at your best, both physically and mentally. Beyond the usual ‘do a facemask, take a bath’, self care includes making sure you’re getting enough sleep and exercise, and switching off from social media when you need to, and prioritising activities that make you happy. BY KATE SCOTT Great Goddesses: Life Lessons from Myths and Monsters by Nikita Gill 4.5 Stars Great Goddesses by Nikita Gill is a perfect blend of Greek mythology and contemporary feminism. In an anthology of poems that gives voice to the women of classical myths, Gill allows for the creators and destroyers, mothers and daughters, and fighters and survivors to tell their own story. If you’re a Penguin Classics poetry lover (who covets their Shakespeare Sonnets and Robert Burns Ballads), you might find yourself sticking your nose up at this one. As a poetry anthology, it doesn’t really work. There's no comprehensive flow -- instead passages are disjointed and unique in style. However, this is not unlike the women they recount. As a retelling of Greek myth, it works amazingly. Gill shares the stories of the women whose lives have been overshadowed by history’s heroes. Everyone knows of Zeus, but what about Metis, Zeus’ first wife and perhaps the primary influencer of his cunning? Everyone knows of Odysseus, but what of Scylla, the nymph-turned-monster that almost sank his ship and devoured his precious argonauts? Gill does not allow these women, goddesses and monsters to be kept in the shadows anymore. Rather, she casts the spotlight on them and showcases their triumphs, heartbreaks, fury, and wit. Adapted for modern times, these millennia old tales written and recounted time and time again by old white men have instead been told with a strong feminist gaze. Gill subverts old tropes and offers a fresh perspective of the ancient stories of old: Pallas and Athena as star-crossed lovers, Medusa as the victim she finally deserves to be recognised as, and Amphitrite as a patient, cunning Queen of the sea. Hand-drawn ink illustrations are also scattered throughout, with visions of starry-night deities and sword-wielding heroines adding both beauty and visual significance to the poetry written beside them. A handy glossary of Greek gods and goddesses can also be found at the back of the book. For those not as familiar with Greek mythology, you may not necessarily appreciate the nuance of some passages, and this book mightn’t be for you. That being said, for those who love history, mythology or even just Madeline Miller’s books, Nikita Gill’s poetry is a knockout. |